Why I don't do sharing anymore?

shalom everybody. it's been long time I haven't post any entries.. well, busy schedule and have several mental  depression. well, that okay.. :) I'm fine and better. Well its about 5 years I've been not giving any sharing for another brother and sister in Christ. When I was in the high school, I starting to give sharing to another people after my turning point dream. Form 2 which the phase of changing point of my faith.. day after day, i began to realize that God always by my side and True!! Well, continue to opened my eyes, I've began to develop my mature side and cover by my immature side through my behavior, a very childish and cannot be trust from outside while inside screaming for attention and trust. At that time, senior still conducted the gathering or fellowship for the all the Christian's friends. Well, they used to be combine fellowship for all domination of Christian but then its only last for 2 or 3 weeks when the fellowship were banned by the school authority and that don't stop the gathering at all. Well, gathering continue as time passed by. Entering form 3, our batch were taking control over the gathering when someone suddenly because too Holy by human eyes. But it don't last as he choose another path which to cover his guiltiness over the other believer for make an extreme changes on gathering. Later than in the reformation of the gathering, I join with several girl friends to make the things alive. Being part of them, I began to give sharing frequently and by the way I've been giving sharing also in form 2. Enjoy to give sharing, the things I've afraid is mislead them and make the stray from they faith. I been giving sharing from form 3 until my end of life in the high school. I getting to know many people from giving sharing and that what fill over my life in high school. Although, I might be controlled by pride and jealousy at that time. This was my life as Christian in MRSM KK.

after end my high school life, I've enter university, UTP. we been approach by the CSS at the end of the orientation. enter uni make my life fall down to the lowest people which, I've became just ordinary man with no pride and full of humbleness. I've been sacrificing many things to other people. I'm not longer give sharing but still giving my all time sharing about my dream. I'd remember about the lent when I'm sharing about  glass of coffee. I've been lower myself and let everybody wins on any argument. People don't respect me, don't trust and that make me more lower myself. I can no longer trust myself either. I'm alone and lack of attention. Just the time I'd tried to make myself confident by travelling to another campus for PCC but then being back stabbing by own CSS's President at that time. 2012 its was the most suffer years of all time. previous years, I'm happy being elected as PCC representative from UTP from previous excos and president. After the President re-announce the board, I've feel like a light saber strikes from behind. He even does tell me that I'm not longer a PCC representative and act me just I can accept that kind of shock. The previous PCC very shock with that decision. I began to ignore my presence from them. I've being depressed, sad and angry. Well, no one trust me at that time. I've been out of mind, cannot express out my feeling. And God's will, He sent someone who keep me sane till this time. And right now, I can finally walk on my path straight. And still, I'm stop sharing to take care of all people hearts. They are brother and sister in Christ.

I guess this just a surface about what i'm saying.. By the way, thanks for read. :)

p/s God bless you all!!!

here comes the middle year...

Shalom!!!
well, time moving so fast and it's June already... wow, seriously it's June and right now entering the hard time for the year... hmm.... right now entering the second semester of the year.... still studying in UTP.. nothing new over here... just struggling to survive the rest of the year.... >.< 

well, entering this June it's time to reflect ourselves as what we already accomplished through this period of time... well maybe some of it lah... haha... this something I've done through those time..





1. Eat
2. Drink
3. Sleep
4. Wake Up
5. Going for lecture
6. Taking exam -pass satisfied
7. Jalan-jalan
8. Nothing






well, nothing actually special throughout this year... just realize each passing day became bored as you want to end your studies ASAP... screw student life... hmm... right now, try to focus on the present... live in the present to make the better future... haha


talking about life right now... no words can't describe it right now... to be honest, It's hard to move on your life if your life purpose is "blury" ... haha.. at least I'm easily give up on anything in this life... but just a little Procrastinate  along my may... =.= ...never mind about it... right now just need a person that constantly remind me to do what is important... :3 hihi...


another stories, just a simple reflection for everybody...

"Nobody's perfect"

well, just suddenly remind the scene of Kamen Rider Double episode 32 - where Philip accepted his partner, Hidari Shotaro even his cannot match with his new power well they actually needed each other.. 


same goes through this life... they are no perfection among us.. only God is perfect and no other being can beat His perfection... continue to the topic... as example, you will say.. "oh, I've already found the perfect one for me"... well, behind those perfect word will always have some imperfection... well, nobody is perfect... even I not a perfect person.... let hear Pieces from Sum 41.. :3
 

well, that's all I wanna share for today... :3 okay everybody... enjoy my blog... have fun reading

p/s hihihi... :3 just a bunch simple update..

April Lesson

Shalom!!

 

Well, It's been long time since I have update my blog with a proper way... >.< means with some sharing and thoughts from me.. It's about the end of the April and seems this April have taught me somethings through out this month... And.. here come what did I gain from this month..

Life with clear aim and purpose.

To tell the truth, my life before this seems like a person who live in this world without any dream and desire to live. I didn't care about myself and anybody cause the loneliness inside here limiting me from done anything. Which causing me to procrastinate and left my any dream and hope just stop in the middle of the road. And now, I've realize that life just once and irreplaceable. Well, at least right now I having my own clear aim for the future.

Friendship is important.

To be honest, this month really taught me the importance of friendship. And I have tell myself that friendship will help you in this live. When you in trouble, that's when you realize that who is the real and fake.

Love

Hmm... doesn't want to talk to much of this things because I know they were people who more expert on this matter. Or I too naive in this matter. Well, nothing is perfect and mean to be perfect. As for me, love is important to everybody such family, partner, friends and everybody. Well, It's been long time I felt this kind of feeling and it keep you up all the time.

Well, that's all I would share for today. Still have lot things to be learn in this world. And let's us keep praying to God to guide us through our daily live with His Blessings. 

And thanks for everybody who visiting my blog. Feel free to visit again.

p/s life is wonderful

I got my first Keyboard.

Last week, I was google-ing to find an new acoustic for myself. Consider I don't have any since form 5 (some of irresponsible people broke my guitar and hide it from me). As I google-ing, I want to find the desire "Taylor" acoustic guitar. I very like those guitar because it was the finest acoustic guitar all time...

Taylor GS Mini (future acoustic guitar)

As the guitar quality became more excellent, the great consequences will came to you. The price also the finest price you get. Firstly, I can't believe that this guitar make such a big deal to the price. to confirm it, I check several website to survey the price, the price is almost the same with the price of electric guitar. Estimate the price is $600++ convert to Malaysia currency = RM 1800++. Lastly, I still don't believe the price and as I ask Dead Eye Guitars for the price. His response was the guitar is RM1820. Then, I gave up on buying an acoustic guitar for this time.

Then, suddenly, I survey to the net to find another instrument to buy. I not feel satisfied until I buy something at that time. Suddenly, I saw keyboard and automatically I want to buy the keyboard. Surveying through the net, I found Pusat Muzik Reco, which offer the best deal to buying keyboard. I found three keyboard are suitable for me (Yamajha PSR-E233, Yamaha PSR-E333 and Yamaha PSR-E423). Firstly, I want to buy Yamaha PSR-E333 is less than RM1000 and the offer are also better (Given free keyboard stand and Bag).

Yamaha PSR-E333

Then, I contact the  Pusat Muzik Reco to ask if PSR-E333 are available or not. They reply and giving bad news for me.. Those type of keyboard are finish and ask me if I into PSR-E233 or PSR-E423. I have to make a choice once again. After a few minute, I made decision that I want to buy PSR-E423 rather than PSR-E233 (because PSR-E423 has more function than PSR-E333 and of course PSR-E233. If I choose PSR-E233, it is a terrible decision which I spend less with less function and the offer not very good). As I choose the PSR-E423, I tell them, make a deal and buy. Till then, I wait for the postage to arrive in my university.

Yamaha PSR-E423

As I wait three day for the parcel, it finally arrived at my hand around Friday evening. I am very happy to received it, and it's became my second instrument that I buy through online as the first one was my bass..

p/s in the future, I will have I set  of band instrument

well.. cuma maw post meme yang paling first saya buat... yang  kena post di Sabahan Troll... Sy post ini meme pada hari kedua page ini dicipta... ini lah meme yang saya buat... memang original dibuat oleh saya... 

mcm biasa... ini cuma meme yang menceritakan seorang pemain dota yang tiada kawan... dan faham2 lah sendiri... hihi...

terima kasih kerana membaca... sila komen dan follow..

p/s first meme, memang rajin buat...

Even If.

shalom,
hope everybody enjoy this poem from me.

Even If

Even If I am Rich,

Not all came in possession,

Laugh and joy running away,

Keep trying to chase,

Money make heavier,

Not to move, Not to stop,

Became like a tree,

From spring to winter,

All the leaves gone,

One by One.

Even If I am Strong,

Not all the building are lifted,

Strength and Energy need,

Tired after everything,

Act like a stone,

But inside as a grass,

It's was fragile,

Since the start,

As the easiest to be defeat.

Even If I am Genius,

All the knowledge not inside the pocket,

Need time to gain it,

For Pride,

Sacrifice the time,

To prove the best of inside,

Later will forgot,

As it leak, and flow slowly,

until final drop of it.

Even If I am myself,

Not means that I am loser,

Or Falling behind from the point,

As continue to life,

I will cherish this life,

As I happy to be myself,

Not Rich, Strong or Genius,

But only myself,

Because this s where I belong.

p/s Just a thought... no attempt to complaint others...

day 29- In this past month, what have you learned and day 30- Your favorite song.

in the past few weeks.... I'm having no time to update my blog... because many things I did until I don't have the times to complete this challenge.... as to conclude this challenge.... I will share this two challenge in this entry...

here come the challenge.

Day 29...

what would I learned in the past month... this referring to August and September months.. here come something I found in past month....

• Anybody can be friends, but not a best friends.
• Procrastination only make yourself busier.
• Easiest way always come at desperate time.
• Never ever bring extra baggage when fly. Waste of time.
• Enjoy this Life.
• They are no turning back in Life.
• Satisfied with you decision.
• Everybody had annoying inside.
• Love is dangerous (even little crush).
• Hallucinate make yourself miss past moment.
• Have care with mother tongue.
• The World is small.
• Evolution occur anytime.
• No easy way to loss weight.
• And I happy the way I am.

Many things did happen in the past month... sometimes, you did ever know that you have learned something in this life.. to be honest... I happy when with everybody.

that's all...

Day 30...

This is the final challenge and I Hopefully everybody knows this song.. especially for blink 182 fans... are you ready... the songs I like the most on this time is....

"SNAKE CHARMER"

Thanks...

p/s after 3 weeks... I finally had time to conquer this challenge.

day 23- something you crave for a lot

Let the Picture tell what do I crave a lot...

Kolok Mee

Cha Sau Rice

Mee Tuaran

That's For Food... Next

Mark Hoppus Fender Jazz Bass Signature

Tom Delonge Gibson ES-333 Signature

Travis Barker Drum Set

That's for Music... Lastly

Canon EOS 550d/600d

But to get it, we need...

Infinite Cash

p/s I'm too greedy... hehe... just joking...

tumblr

hello everbody... just wanno mention that I've a new account for tumblr... feel free to visit it...

click to go my tumblr page

p/s i'm still noob in this....

day 22- what makes you different from everyone else

what makes me different from others? a very good question be answer and not to answer... haha... just kidding.. maybe this post will reveal some of my true identity and behavior... my also didn't really know me 100%... just be honest... I have many secret in this soul..

Here's the different I found in myself with others.

1. Firstly, I didn't easily influence by other source... As example, many of my friends love K-Pop... but for me, they is no point for me to like K-pop... even they try to influence by letting the K-pop in the surrounding, I'm still be myself and I will like based on my desire... like punk songs... rather than punk song, I would not like it (except church's songs and dusun's songs)... another example is... the newest trend... I didn't actually aware to those things but in my mind, why do we need changes the trend as we can we ourselves.. I think that all for point number 1.
2. Never forget practical job... this kind of boring... but I cannot forget practical thing and the technique will never faded away... and if I always do... I became pro... haha
3. I'm too loyal... I'm referring to relationship... What I mean is.. I'm too loyal to what I interest and want it so badly... for example, I like photograph and music... then, they will be my interest for the rest of my live... and for relationship... I am very loyal... but they is no the one even though I'm too 'Ramah' with the girl.... haha
4. My live mission and vision is different... most of people would like too live with a better jobs/permanent jobs, getting married with they want and get many money for they life... but for me, what I thinks of life is fill it with adventure... what I meant is, I had choose the road not taken by others.. like I now study in University to get know people and discover many more... I like too travel as fulfill my name as 'ventures' inside my name... maybe I be destined to learn the important of life...
5. I can make people smile without making jokes...  I'm happy to know this... some people makes harsh and non-sense jokes to make people laugh and smile... but for me, just by my body movement.. I already makes them smile... but they will burst in laugh when I told a jokes.... just kidding... haha...
6. My body... it's a secret...

ok... that's all I would share for you all... I hope you all are amuse... thanks..

p/s ok, gud night everybody...

day 20- someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

oh no... this challenge quite tuft and difficult to responses... how to put this on.. I'm just cannot think of anyone who will be with me in the future... or maybe just accept the facts I'm 'forever alone'... haha... 

haha... I'm just kidding... so for today challenge... I just said about my ideal girl... because.. I haven't found the 'One'.. maybe no 'One'

Ok lets start... the woman who I would imagine is kind of pretty as usual, accept the way I am and younger than.. I don't have to tell long story for this topic... that's all... have a nice night...

p/s maybe I will be forever alone... hihi

day 19- nicknames you have; why do you have them

shalom... today I just want reveal what my nick name and why they call me by the name...

• Bences/Ventures.

this nickname is often used by my families... start by my parents by calling me Ventures as my brother's name also Mark... like it or not.. it used to distinguish among me and brother..

• Mark.

besides families, I called by other people by 'Mark'... when first time called as Mark.. I feel uneasy as my family always call by my home's nicknames.. basically, almost everybody would call me by this name... and i'm used to it... and you can call me by this name...

• Henshin.

this names not always used... only when I'm meet another kamen rider fan..

• Belunting.

i hate this name... It always use by my cousin and siblings for teasing me...

• Markven

because of mistake in my name tag... they called me by this name... and later derived as 'Markvengz'...

• Kerbau/Bau

Because my body not too fat... but berisi... they try to find animal name that suitable for me...

I think that's all I remembered... maybe they are more... haha

p/s it's funny to recall it back...

day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have

shalom... today challenge are too interesting and I like the topic... This post may be longer... don't be hesitate not too read... i will promise you a very interesting story for you...

Plans:
talking about plans, they are many things that I wanna do in my life... as the beginning, I have plan my future for my own satisfactory. it's start when, I'm in form 5... when I was sitting and staring at the corner... I tell myself "what would happened after high school?"... I spend my time seek what inside me... suddenly, I'm interesting to find many experience in this life as I remember my father's have many acquaintance wherever he go... I told myself that I became like them... actually, I didn't planned to continue my study after high school... my parents told me to became teacher... and I had to thinks about it as my parents encourage me to take jobs like teacher... but, I try to find another path because became teacher in early age doesn't for me... as the is armature for me... then, I suddenly interesting with SPC (Skim Pelajar Cermelang).. I don't why I take this opportunity and I choose Chemical Engineering as my target course of study... maybe just wanna be different or finding new experience... I talk to my parents about this matter and they supporting me... As my father's said "That's good... finding experience before became teacher is good things... experiences is good..." Then I continue my path and many things happened... I meet new friends, people, culture and different things... I happy to be right now... 


As to continue my plan.. in the future I would be traveler and photograph by joining PCC... I hope PCC would satisfied my desire for traveling... then I would like to open my open jamming studio in the future... and lastly works as engineering for 2 or 3 years then having my travel and finally became teacher or anything left...

Dreams:
to be honest... my dream is to having own band and perform around my hometown... I want all the world hear my music... other, I also would like having married with someone in my own states... but it still blur as I continue to explore the world myself....

Goals:
I also have simple goal in this life... capture the smile of the world... where I like to take picture randomly especially the smile of happiness... another goal is to graduate from my university with good result for finding jobs... 


so, that's all I want share for this time... I hope this would give a smile for a day...

p/s this life is beautiful... don't ruin it...

day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

shalom... today challenge are truly give me difficult time for me... actually I have the will be anybody and not specific and I will speak it generally... those are someone who 1 want switch of my life... based on desire.. be sporting... ok

• Rich Man.

I think like this because I also have the desire on money... if I switch my life with rich.. I immediately transfer some of money from myself as Rich Man to my other self that was not me at that time.. that all I want... Then, tomorrow I wake up with plenty of money in Bank.

• Girl

Because I want to learn how girl lives in a day... that's all... and also do something that guys can't do... Just testing...

• Cat

Because Cat are adorable and cute... maybe be a Cat helps me understand more about as Human doesn't understand everything they want are always been force to sleep... :3

that's all I want to share for now.. anyway... thanks for reading...

p/s Happy Merdeka to Malaya.. 16 days more for Sabah to Merdeka...

Malaysia years = My father's age..

the beginning of boring week.

now it's start the boring week which.. the whole week will be...

1. everybody going... especially peninsular friends... they going for raya...
2. Study week... the week full of input..
3. most of the cafe is close..
4. seldom people online...
5. allowance almost finished... need to wait the end of weekday for another allowance..
6. only cat became friends...
7. long time no eat (oo) ... hihi

so damn boring... what to go out... no money... hihi.. anyway... smile always..

p/s good luck for UTPian in Final exam..

day 16- another picture of yourself (digging back old memory)

this is my picture in the past..

p/s everbody can changes..

day 15- put your music library on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

hello... those song will play in shuffle mode... sorry if some songs is never heard by some people..

1. Hillsongs - This is Our God
2. Limp Bizkit - Behind Blue Eyes
3. Bow Wow ft Clara - Like U
4. Simple Plan _ When I'm Gone
5. Bunkface - Prom Queen
6. Gateaway - Reason I'm Alive
7. Nanase Aikawa - Round ZERO~BLADE BRAVE
8. Nakatahak Ku Ngawi Dia
9. The Ting Tings - Traffic Light
10. Angels And Airwaves - Breath

p/s That all... enjoy you day.. hihi

day 12- how you found out about Blogger and why you made one

shalom, just wanna share how did I found blogger and why I made one...

How I found out blogger?

I found out about blogger when I read some magazine in my high school about social networking... from that article, I accidentally found the word blog... and didn't understanding what meaning of the words.. from that article also mention that most blogger using "Blogger" to write anything they... that's how I found out about blogger ad begin to understand the meaning... after a year, I have my own laptop and begin read throughout the net... and finally understand they way of blogger.

Why I made One?

because I wanna share some story and experience everybody as the other blogger may also done the same things... to get more friends and connection... then, to gain more experience in writing... I think, that's all... I'm happy blogging right now... It became part of my life already...

Thanks

p/s I like the way I write... :)

day 06- favorite super hero and why

hello... today i will reveal my favorite super heroes.... and they are....

"KAMEN RIDERS"

I like them because... the story line of those heroes are very interesting, make sense and interconnecting...

other interesting about this super heroes are this was never end story... if some story are finished, a new one will replaced...

As I mention in day 01 challenge, I state that I am true fan of Kamen Rider and it's will obviously Kamen Rider is my favorite super heroes...

p/s the newest "Kamen Rider Fourze" will came out this September..

zero is better.

zero is better because you don't need think anythings cause it's zero and it's doesn't exist...