shalom everybody. it's been long time I haven't post any entries.. well, busy schedule and have several mental depression. well, that okay.. :) I'm fine and better. Well its about 5 years I've been not giving any sharing for another brother and sister in Christ. When I was in the high school, I starting to give sharing to another people after my turning point dream. Form 2 which the phase of changing point of my faith.. day after day, i began to realize that God always by my side and True!! Well, continue to opened my eyes, I've began to develop my mature side and cover by my immature side through my behavior, a very childish and cannot be trust from outside while inside screaming for attention and trust. At that time, senior still conducted the gathering or fellowship for the all the Christian's friends. Well, they used to be combine fellowship for all domination of Christian but then its only last for 2 or 3 weeks when the fellowship were banned by the school authority and that don't stop the gathering at all. Well, gathering continue as time passed by. Entering form 3, our batch were taking control over the gathering when someone suddenly because too Holy by human eyes. But it don't last as he choose another path which to cover his guiltiness over the other believer for make an extreme changes on gathering. Later than in the reformation of the gathering, I join with several girl friends to make the things alive. Being part of them, I began to give sharing frequently and by the way I've been giving sharing also in form 2. Enjoy to give sharing, the things I've afraid is mislead them and make the stray from they faith. I been giving sharing from form 3 until my end of life in the high school. I getting to know many people from giving sharing and that what fill over my life in high school. Although, I might be controlled by pride and jealousy at that time. This was my life as Christian in MRSM KK.
after end my high school life, I've enter university, UTP. we been approach by the CSS at the end of the orientation. enter uni make my life fall down to the lowest people which, I've became just ordinary man with no pride and full of humbleness. I've been sacrificing many things to other people. I'm not longer give sharing but still giving my all time sharing about my dream. I'd remember about the lent when I'm sharing about glass of coffee. I've been lower myself and let everybody wins on any argument. People don't respect me, don't trust and that make me more lower myself. I can no longer trust myself either. I'm alone and lack of attention. Just the time I'd tried to make myself confident by travelling to another campus for PCC but then being back stabbing by own CSS's President at that time. 2012 its was the most suffer years of all time. previous years, I'm happy being elected as PCC representative from UTP from previous excos and president. After the President re-announce the board, I've feel like a light saber strikes from behind. He even does tell me that I'm not longer a PCC representative and act me just I can accept that kind of shock. The previous PCC very shock with that decision. I began to ignore my presence from them. I've being depressed, sad and angry. Well, no one trust me at that time. I've been out of mind, cannot express out my feeling. And God's will, He sent someone who keep me sane till this time. And right now, I can finally walk on my path straight. And still, I'm stop sharing to take care of all people hearts. They are brother and sister in Christ.
I guess this just a surface about what i'm saying.. By the way, thanks for read. :)
p/s God bless you all!!!
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