Then and Now..

Shalom and greetings to all reader... :) just a simple update being thought for years passed... maybe... :) well... this is just some photo that I used to be and the present... :)

2007 - After PMR programs (MIGTY)

2008 - Minggu Aktiviti (Dewan Mengaris)

2009 - Before Formal Dinner

2010 - Having fun at Pangkor

2011 - CSS trip to Malacca

2012 - Choir Trip at Penang

2013 - Eating Oreo at Futsal court

So that was changes of physical look for over 6 years until now... :) well... I'm getting fatter.. and thats true... :)

Thats all from me... enjoy your Sunday..

p/s Happy father's day to all fathers and also who will became father... :)

GMB - Kuterpaku

Dalam rembulan
Dalam cahya mentari
Digelap badai
Dan indahnya pelangi

Dalam tangisan
Dan wajah berseri
Kan kutemukan
Kasih terbesar bagi dunia ini

Diam kuterpaku
Dan kutakjub akan kasihMu
Yang tergores indah
Dalam anugerah
Hatiku milikMu
Indah kuterkagum
Dan kubawakan hidupku
Kau membuat hatiku
Menjadi baru
Bahagia kumengenalMu

Bridge:
Kuterpaku… melihatMu
Kuterkagum… memandangMu

Paradox Dream

pic source http://static.tumblr.com/rpsmp9s/YyMlu219k/paradox.png

Shalom... Well, something about this topic for today... just a simple dream for today... got some paradoxeption in this entry.. hahaha... dont know how start... i just make it simple as i can... hihihi.... i'm afraid of being talk to much crap for this... hahaha...

lets get start... maybe my definition of paradox dream different from another views... this is just based on experience and what I understand about it.. okay.. shall we proceed..

Talking about dream, of course everybody know it.. no need explain much on it... happened everytime or seldom while we sleeping.... even animals also dreaming while sleeping... We know that our dreams could be happy dream, fantasy dream, nightmare, weird as shit dream that doesn't make sense at all and many more dream that we can imagine... and very special one call lucid dream.. wow... you like a God in your own dream when having this dream... the one ability to control own dream direction and having conscience of realizing t was a dream....

The idea is the paradox dream also a very weird dream... not an inception dream that explain the dream inside dream inside dream and inside dream depend how many phase of dream you... well, watch "Inception" movie starts by Leonardo DiCarpio for basc understandng of inception... hahahaha... back to point, Paradox Dream according to me is, the character of the dream is you most of the time, but play in different time... sort like time-travel kind of dream where the dream version of you meet another dream version of you... cool right, but in some views, you as yourself in dream play different role in different part of dream... 

hahahaha... so much confusion from what I tell just now... :3 okay.. let me tell me story of "Paradox Dream" from me... enjoy... ^_^

the story start when I was a time traveler and sent to past to get red of bad.. that the mission of the dream.. i guess... but then, in my journey chasing the bad guy, I accidentally meet this fully robe guy that he trying to approach me and stop what I'm doing... and the guy was followed me whenever and wherever I go... I go stress with to guy and I smoke... and then he stopped me and said "Don't smoke, or u will face bigger problem" ... What a weird guy and then I feel very annoying about this guy and try as much I can escape from him... few... very glad because escaping from him.. I continue my mission find the villain of the dream but then suddenly, I get to the temple and everything became more religious dream and the villain is not longer remember. its a new whole story for a sudden... typical weird dream... then.. in the dream I've being healing and undergoes some sort of exorcism by a Priest... feel like real and how its feel something came out from my body... wow... feel so hurt also then for a moment I've been throw to the sky and smash to ground because 1 things I do... and that things was I smoke in the earlier dream... Then, the priest u forget that u had smoke before and that why I've been throw up to sky and falling down again... then after a second, I've in were a robe and back to the where in earlier dream... I saw one person was chasing a bad guy and I've remember it was me and then trying approach him and follow him.. he seems pissed to me and until I saw he starts to smoke and said "Don't smoke, or u will face bigger problem" ... he very pissed off because I'd try to stop whatever he does and just for a second he then run away and I cannot find his trace anymore... and I woke up... 

this is a short dream because I just sleep for 2 hours.. not expecting too much because need study for finals that time... >.<

that's all from for now... :3 hahahaha... sorry for the boring story for you all... :) Okay... thats all from me and I wish goodluck for life everybody... God Bless You all... 

p/s also consider as weird as shit dream that doesn't make sense at all dream

GMB - The Best Is Yet To Come

Lihatlah bintang di semesta
Bintang yang bersinar bagi kita
Waktu yang telah diberikan
Sangatlah berharga janganlah siakan 

S'bab Kau-lah yang kudamba
Dan Kaulah s'galanya

Now I run
And set my eyes on You
I lay my life at Your feet
My heart and my plans
And my future's in Your hands
Now my soul 
Rests like the stars above
For I know that the best is yet to come

p/s the best is yet to come

Why I don't do sharing anymore?

shalom everybody. it's been long time I haven't post any entries.. well, busy schedule and have several mental  depression. well, that okay.. :) I'm fine and better. Well its about 5 years I've been not giving any sharing for another brother and sister in Christ. When I was in the high school, I starting to give sharing to another people after my turning point dream. Form 2 which the phase of changing point of my faith.. day after day, i began to realize that God always by my side and True!! Well, continue to opened my eyes, I've began to develop my mature side and cover by my immature side through my behavior, a very childish and cannot be trust from outside while inside screaming for attention and trust. At that time, senior still conducted the gathering or fellowship for the all the Christian's friends. Well, they used to be combine fellowship for all domination of Christian but then its only last for 2 or 3 weeks when the fellowship were banned by the school authority and that don't stop the gathering at all. Well, gathering continue as time passed by. Entering form 3, our batch were taking control over the gathering when someone suddenly because too Holy by human eyes. But it don't last as he choose another path which to cover his guiltiness over the other believer for make an extreme changes on gathering. Later than in the reformation of the gathering, I join with several girl friends to make the things alive. Being part of them, I began to give sharing frequently and by the way I've been giving sharing also in form 2. Enjoy to give sharing, the things I've afraid is mislead them and make the stray from they faith. I been giving sharing from form 3 until my end of life in the high school. I getting to know many people from giving sharing and that what fill over my life in high school. Although, I might be controlled by pride and jealousy at that time. This was my life as Christian in MRSM KK.

after end my high school life, I've enter university, UTP. we been approach by the CSS at the end of the orientation. enter uni make my life fall down to the lowest people which, I've became just ordinary man with no pride and full of humbleness. I've been sacrificing many things to other people. I'm not longer give sharing but still giving my all time sharing about my dream. I'd remember about the lent when I'm sharing about  glass of coffee. I've been lower myself and let everybody wins on any argument. People don't respect me, don't trust and that make me more lower myself. I can no longer trust myself either. I'm alone and lack of attention. Just the time I'd tried to make myself confident by travelling to another campus for PCC but then being back stabbing by own CSS's President at that time. 2012 its was the most suffer years of all time. previous years, I'm happy being elected as PCC representative from UTP from previous excos and president. After the President re-announce the board, I've feel like a light saber strikes from behind. He even does tell me that I'm not longer a PCC representative and act me just I can accept that kind of shock. The previous PCC very shock with that decision. I began to ignore my presence from them. I've being depressed, sad and angry. Well, no one trust me at that time. I've been out of mind, cannot express out my feeling. And God's will, He sent someone who keep me sane till this time. And right now, I can finally walk on my path straight. And still, I'm stop sharing to take care of all people hearts. They are brother and sister in Christ.

I guess this just a surface about what i'm saying.. By the way, thanks for read. :)

p/s God bless you all!!!

Entering Jan 13

while entering this new year.. the lots of challenge face to face new chapter of life... every person on the earth  had on story of the own... different path, different family, and different belief... Enter the new year left all the chapter before behind and make a new chapter of life... 

LETS THE JOURNEY START:

To understand the entering of 2013.. lets hear story the from the previous month (December 2012) as important as the continuation the legacy of 2013... My December just an ordinary December as usual year before... nothing special.. spending time alone at home while the other younger siblings and mother went back to my mother's hometown (Kg. Tinompok, Tambunan), my father went to KL for his thyroid therapy at KL hospital and my big bro still in Cheras for his study... left me alone with the cats and dogs... but I'm not afraid at all... because my cats were my best friends at home... after i gone from home... they will search for my presence as they also a creature create by God.. my cats were missing me and solemnly without my presence... even they came back home after I calling they're name... well... i being alone with cat but luckily I've been invited by my high school friends to celebrate Christmas with them... i with open heart accepted they invitation and its was 18/12/12 i  guess at located at One Borneo Hyper mall ball room.. even though no enough food over they... but the Christmas spirit can be feel that time... and later on, I became my friend's driver because they want to back to their hostel earlier (UMS).. first time entering UMS was enough to describe a "SAKAI" guy like my.... and after that I being alone again until I fetch my cousin from KKIA and directly went to Tambunan for 4 day (20-24) because needs to fetch up again my big bro and dad from KKIA also.. they funny things is my cousin should fetch them but at the end I fetch them and made it on time and still have time to eat McDonald... arrived at home... I thought we will be back to Tambunan at that night I fetch them and I left all my belongings for Christmas at they... having some argument with dad and finally me and my cousin back to Tambunan the Christmas Morning... No wonderful Christmas for me.. being alone for almost 20 years at Christmas Eve but only a flying message throughout the world be my friends... later on Tambunan, I've managed to arrived at my mom's hometown and get ready for the Christmas's Mass (Holy Cross Toboh)... luckily me and my cousin bring back my bro car to Tambunan and I use that car get to they church earlier and park beside my other cousin car... what a coincidence... hmm... nothing special happened.. just having Christmas Mass and then back to rest and have to deal with every years "merajuk" birthday girl... to be honest I hate this my youngest sister for always being like that for almost every year in 12 years.. well.. having party and visit the late grand-father and cousin grave... being the tradition for the family to pay visit for them so they will happy in heaven because being remember... the Christmas season is end with the coming of my aunt wedding and it was my last aunt from my mother's siblings getting married... we having preparation for her wedding at "balai raya" and decorate everything that necessary... reach the wedding day.. shit happened... on the way me and cousin going to bought the wine for toast.. the car starting to shows the impact of "shocked" means the car never go far from KK and use to go Tambunan and the car unable to start... its kill some times and causing me not attending the wedding ceremony at Church... but happened another things which helping my uncle to bought many bundle of ices for "beer" only... the wedding  not quiet "meriah" because mostly people came and go home... at least they were food being prepare and eating mostly my job over they but should be the people were distribute the beer to the people coming... end of story... now is the waiting to back to KK but instead directly back to Papar and shit happened again when we already at Putatan and turning on the air-cond causing the car to stop its engine with any warning.... but safely arrived at Papar... (30/12/1).. approach new year.. we having some barbeque out-side the house and in the ending of the years... and thats how its entering the jan 2013...

p/s its just story of lonely guy.